Dec 8, 2007

I have had the best times with the Lord lately, and of course many of them have to do with Him bringing me correction and teaching me, this is such a season of *going deeper* for me, but His discipline is so *sweet* ~ it really is more like disciple- ing than how *I* understand bringing correction and discipline to be.

This is such a season of learning God's ways as compared to my ways.
For example, I asked God awhile ago now how to parent my kids to please Him,
and He spoke to my heart and let me know that I should just parent them the way that He parents me. I didn't really fully *get* what He meant by that, practically, and I doubt I do now, not yet~ not fully~ though I do understand bit by bit more about it as He reveals His wisdom to me. There are so many other areas,too. Too many to list in one place, I think! It's like the whole world just opened up in a whole new way and I can *see* things that I couldn't before; I guess God has taken yet another blinder off... Thank You, Lord!!

Seeing the gospel jewel against the backdrop of my black sinfulness as a fallen being,(Thank-you,C.B., so much for that analogy that has been popping into my mind so much lately,)brings about a deeper understanding of how wrong my ways are, how right His ways are, how amazed I am that I am saved, how grateful I am, the obligation I now have to forgive as I have been forgiven: ‘And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil… "For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. "But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions (Matthew 6:12-15): how easy it is to justify sin (disobeying God)by adding my own reasoning's to the gospel...

Oh that I could have the mind of Jesus, in that I might be sinless, would be so nice~ but this day will come when I enter into Heaven where no sin will be tolerated. Until then, I toil here in this mind~ this heart~ this body~ and I fight with my sin, like a fighter competing for the prize~ "I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize ( 1 Cor. 9:26-27,)" though I know I need to fight my sin much more because it is right here with me, all of the time. When God parents me, He teaches me with His word and by His people, He shows me the path of righteousness, when I take it I reap the naturally good consequences of choosing to obey God, when I don't take it I reap the naturally bad consequences of choosing to not obey God~
Corinthians 9:6:" Now this I say, he who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully," but as a ransomed one I don't face God's wrath, God's anger, when I choose to disobey Him...

I'm not saying this is theologically correct, I'm just saying that from my own personal experiences with God He does not show me His anger with me, though I can easily imagine that at times I could very possibly anger Him (when I grumble and complain, snap at my kids under stress, whatever it may be,)He is ever-present and ready for me to Repent, *eager* to forgive me, gracious and compassionate and towards me when I am rolling around in sin like a pig in the mud (sorry, just the visual i got about how we love our sin sometimes, lol)~ and here am I,easily tempted to throw in the towel or grumble or complain, easily angered sometimes with sin issues that I am impatiently waiting to come to an end~ and how abounding with grace,compassionate, slow to anger and readily willing to forgive is my God!!

I don't know if this whole post makes no sense, but i couldn't wait to get on here today and share with you how God is working in me ~ He is showing me the *greatness* of the differences between me and Him, in such a gracious and loving way, to teach me what *true* righteousness is~ now never will I be like Jesus, but I am so happy that God is willing to show me what His ways are, ever so patiently, so that I can know them ever so much more fully, in order to then have that knowledge to more fully follow them. I am enjoying His teaching me the rules, knowing that "If anyone competes as an athlete, he does not receive the victor's crown unless he competes by the rules 2 Timothy 2:5" ....

It is time to let go of those last "precious" things that I am having the hardest times with: "But it's not fair!" and "If I put in the Work, I just wanna see the Results!" God is showing me the pride fullness and foolishness of those emotions; they say "I want My timing!" and "I deserve..!..." but no, no it's all about God's timing and I don't deserve....anything. Conforming my mind to the truth is work, but it is good, good work. It is the work of this life and I will never be ungrateful for God doing this good work in me, which I know~ through faith~ that He *will* bring to completion. <3

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