I hope you will pray for me this morning, if you are reading this today.
Today did not get started on the better foot, but the weakest one, and so today will be one of those challenging days. The challenge will be for me not to be sinful in my anger about this situation, but for me to instead make Glorifying God my cheif aim and not Glorifying me (defending me); I know that this is where my hear needs to be.... my sister and my husband and I have started out the day by stumbling into an argument(them against me, or at least that is how it feels to me) this morning and I didn't even get my first cup of coffee or my scripture time in, bad,bad,bad for me,Lol;)If you know me, you know that it is not my best time for conflict if I have not had my "Wheaties",so to speak.
....When is it ever a good time for me to have conflict?
Never, really. I stink at conflict. Doing conflict well (excuse my weird language here) takes Humility, and a nicely honed Humility~ like a rock smoothed of all it's rough,unseemly edges by the powerof the Ocean's waves over time~ you know, smoothed of all those edges that can cut you if you step on it the wrong way! I am more like the rough old rock covered in barnacles that is being washed by the word everyday and shaped and smoothed by the power of God's words but I am not a nice, smooth rock yet; I am full of rough edges and sharp sides and sadly,yes,I will cut you if you step on me or lean on me the wrong way,still today. I am not where I need to be, I know that because, many times this is still true of me. I may have some smooth spots now,thanks only to God's grace, but I am far from being presentable for Christ as a Peace- Maker,and that grieves me....
My toes got stepped this morning, and I was not a smooth rock to be stepping on today. I recoiled in shock(what!ME being accused of doing something wrong? what?what??...as if)and then I coiled up and pouted "you don't know what your talking about; you don't know my heart only God knows that,so check yourself..."
When the said party did not stop and go check themselves (lol) I burned under the pressure to DEFEND MYSELF, instead of letting God defend me and putting it all in His hands.....why oh why do I do this, I know better than this, but oh, I don't act like I do all the time, so, so annoying of me....
...."I refuse to listen to this! I know my motives and they are not what you are accusing me of!! You both are attacking me!!" and then, the most shameful of all, the conflict-ending(for now) comment that includes an expletive(are you really surprised?) and walking out, slamming the door(ok, baby gate, not as satisfying either) behind me. I was real proud of myself, needless to say(Not!)
All I could think of was the thoughts my mind was bombarding me with saying what a model Christian I was(I know!I know!) and how I'd never get this, this humility thing, that I suck at it,I will never grow in this area, it is impossible for me, and on & on it went until~ thank you,God!~ the Word of God broke in and battled that darkness to the ground, far from being on the behalf of a righteous servant who deserved His assistance!,God stepped in in His mercy and kindness and dealt a death blow to those lies with 2 of all of our favorite scriptures,
Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. 2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death. 3 For what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, 4 so that the requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Thank you God, for coming to my rescue, your straying and stubborn sheep, walking off into the slaughter to foolish to see my ways are leading me to spiritual death.
Please help me to grow in humility; You alone are able to work this growth in me.
Please be with us today as conflict is here and we need to solve it, regardless of who wants to or who doesn't; Glorify Yourself in me Lord and help my husband to lead us, protect our little family from the devil getting in through he cracks we knock in our own walls, let us not argue in front of the children but make this home the little church on Gregg street as our pastor has encouraged our church family to do. In Jesus name, Amen.