Jan 23, 2007

Better Than I Deserve?

So often I can be so quick to act like I deserve better than what I have in life. I wouldn't say that, but when I really look at it before the cross... that is what I am doing. The mundane chores of running a household can get to me at times,and so can the less fun aspects of parenting {you know, the hard work}but I find that the area I can most easily allow myself to get caught up in is my pride. The nagging thought 'But isn't there... more?' rears it's ugly head every so often as of late,revealing an attitude of ungratefulness in my heart.Even as I type these words, I can see how foolish they are... and yet. There will be another moment this thinking will knock again. At the foot of the cross, I know that I am at the recieving end of so much mercy that I do not deserve. I am a sinner and by faith,and through grace,I can have this wonderful relationship with God that I cannot ever earn or deserve. As if that were not enough!, I have been blessed with 3 children I really do not deserve ( even a little girl I prayed for ferevently,1st born in a long time in the H. family!),and a husband I do not deserve to have, a wonderful home,and wonderful friendships with other women & even a spiritual-mothering relationship,all the food and safety my family and I need, and even the assurance of Heaven!! So much more I am not listing. Yet,still, I can struggle with discontentment. In my pride, I can get to thinking that there are just so many important things going on out there in this world that I would like to be involved in... I lose vision for how important what I am doing at home is in those times. I would never want my children (or husband) to feel that I do not think that raising them and being their daddy's help-meet does not encompass the whole of my heart! And they certainly do! At one of the CrossFire Youth meetings, CB and Ben talked about having the mindset of building cathedrals vs. laying bricks in our lives as homemakers, mothers, and help-meets to our husbands. What a good vision that is to hold onto in times of temptation like these I mentioned. I am very grateful to our church for such good leadership. I'm sure that as I grow as Christian I will walk this walk with much less complaining and much more faith, but for now please bear with me as I take my baby steps alongside of you all :) God has been so gracious to us, in us even being able to make the decisions for me to stay home and for me to homeschool,and for us as a couple to be put together with each other. I know that not all women find such a lot. I find that Gratefullness really is a good cure for discontentment! Please join with me in praying that God will convict me ever more quickly, and shower me with even more grace, when I am looking at the tree's *I* have looked at,and,like Eve,allowing my wandering heart to wonder what's going on without me? Thanks. Oh, and that I would rest in God's promises?... my family thanks you!

PS~ I hope these blogs are not too boring, but I proposed to stick with identifying and challenging sin in the light of the word with this blog if I was going to blog at all ,and to talk about A.D.H.D and O.D.D some, so that's why I mainly stick to just that. But I do want to try harder to add more recipes and such as I come across goodies, I promise! :)

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