Nov 8, 2006

I Just Loooove ... Myself !!

Yeah I know that sounds horribly prideful... that's because it is! LoL!!
In my evening prayer time I always take a moment at the end to ask God what sins I really need to be aware of at this time , well last night He reminded me of a couple more idols in my heart I could add to my answer of question 1 yesterday. It is my self-sufficiency ~ specifically, in this particular instance, in wanting to see the fruits of my labors --- and in what I feel is a reasonable amount of time--- Ha ha ha ha ! Confessing sin is so humbling! Man ! The depths of the stink in my soul should not be shocking me ! Anyways, if you have read this less than humble blog since the beginning ( so, sooo long ago LoL!) then you would be able to easily discern that I am a prideful, arrogant and always trying to sneak in some self-sufficiency. So, you would not be shocked to hear me say that I do not like being sinned against - I know, that's a pretty common one huh- and also that I am far too often caring more about my being sinned against than bringing glory to God in a situation where I feel I am being sinned against. Automatically, my sinful little heart goes into autopilot ~ self-sufficiency!~ and says to my wandering little mind, mind- you have got to figure out what to do about this. You know this is not just. And am I going to follow along like I have not even been saved from the dominion of my sin? No, I must recognize that this is sin and do my part to put it to death. This is one of the many ways preaching the gospel to yourself every day is most helpful. If you have ever heard my pastor preach more twice , then you would have probably heard him say this at least once~

We need to preach the gospel to ourselves every day.
At least once a day, I would add on to that.

I have far too much sin to be sitting around waiting for it to go away on it's own. It's not going to go anywhere if I rest on my laurels and 'wait on God to take care of it.' I know it glorifies Him for me to be ever chipping away at my sin and a good scripture I like to read at least once a day for remembering this is 1 Corinthians 9: 26-27: " Therefore, I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No! I beat my body and make it my slave - so that after I have preached to others ( our children?) I myself will not be disqualified forthe prize."

Hebrews 12:1-2 is also helpful for me: " Let us run with preserverence the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus!"

What is the race marked out for you? Are you preaching the gospel to yourself daily as you run? This Christian life sure does require endurance. And how do we gain endurance, but by cross training ? Let's cross train together and shine the bright search light of the gospel into every crevice of our hearts. Let's beat our bodies and strive for the prize together! This is where I need so much encouragement, don't you?

God has shown me that my self-sufficiency is - surprise time!- Pride, and Selfish Ambition. Like I confessed earlier in this post , I desire to see the fruits of my labors , and in a time I feel is reasonable ! What does it matter, really, if my work goes unrecognized, or if my labors end up ultimately to be for naught? What if it brings glory to God in my life for my work to be unfruitful ( in the ways *I* want it to be fruitful) for a season, untill it kills some of my pride and self-sufficiency? This is one of the many areas where I need much shepherding. (I am so grateful for the husband that I have because he is routinely shepherding my heart. All I have to do is ask, and he will patiently sit and listen to me blat out all of my ( observed ) sin and remind me of some I have not seen, then remind me that God is in control and Not Me. Imagine that! I am so graeteful that He is and not me, aren't you?! !! LoL ! ... but really, 'ask your husband' is one of the best pieces of advice I have ever recieved. They know us best!)

One of the snares I can regularily get caught in is using the old Humanist's strategy of Behavioral Modification with my kids. Remember BF Skinner with his trained rats ? Well, my children need more than to be trained rats! I might get just trained rats if I do not steer away from B-Mod in my parenting. This is why Behavior Modification does not work. Remember Jesus and the Pharisees? Jesus said obey them, but do not be like them. The outside of the cup is clean but the inside is dirty. 'Whitewashed tombs" He called them. ( Us!)
We have to look at our heart , and then our child's heart. How do we respond when no one is looking, or the frustration level gets high? How do we respond to a disrespectful child, or a big traffic jam? Asking these questions is all about getting ourselves ready to address our child's heart. I don't know about you, but I need open heart surgery every day! Thankfully the Holy Spirit that is within us is our great helper in this area.

Wow. I really need to get on to question #2, don't I? This may take months at this rate.... :)!